Split Up

What is the definition of a church split? I'm not sure I know, but what has happened in my life lately is certainly a break-up of what was once together.

I do not write this to blame anyone, to condemn, or glorify; only to put down my thoughts on my own .com.

I used to love a good conflict. Now that I've grown a bit, I can't say that I desire it. Actually, I am trying to live at peace with all of my brothers and sisters. I'm finding out how hard that is, and that it even brings its own sort of conflict within me.

My heart is still heavy. I will never know all the ins and outs of what has happened, and why it happened. I'm trying to reconcile myself to that. I'm trying to put it all behind me, and go on with what is still with me, while walking toward what is in front of me.

I'm studying the life of David with my Junior Bible class. We've said good-bye to Saul and Jonathan, and are now saying hello to King David and Joab, and Abner and Ish-Bosheth, and violence among what is supposed to be a nation of God's chosen people.

In the Old Testament, Abner, commander of Saul's army, kills Asahel, David's nephew, while crowning Ish-Bosheth, Saul's son, king. Asahel's brother, Joab, kills Abner out of revenge for his brother's murder after pledging allegience to David. Power struggle after power struggle brings death to someone in the camp. Ish-Bosheth is eventually murdered by two men from the tribe of Bejamin.

And King David laments at it all.

And then the real questions are asked: how does God view all this fighting between his children? What is His opinion? When do we put down our need to be right, or at the top, and pick up His will for us as a whole?

No, I will not physically murder my brothers and sister in Christ, but do I try and wound them with scriptures that supposedly "prove" I am right? Use the spiritual weapon God has given me for "friendly-fire" instead of aiming it at my real enemy?

I could point my finger and tell God about a few who have. But then, the comeback "but you've got three fingers pointing right back at you" comes to mind. Oh, how that hurts me to know that we've used the most powerful weapon of all against our own brothers and sisters as we are fighting the same enemy of our souls.

God, forgive us all.