I am, by nature, a very rebellious person.
So, to get un-mad at someone very close to me takes alot out of me. I have been going through a situation that I know I need to address in my life. (Person whom I mad at, can you hear me?? I know this!) But, I don't like it when that person decides-cold turkey!-that today is the day that I'm going to deal with it.
I clam up. I pull away. Don't touch me, and don't ask me to do anything for you! I can go days like this. (Don't try and tell me that it's not healthy for me to act like that. I know that, too.)
Everything within me is fighting against myself. My flesh wants to punish you for punishing me, but my heart wants to do better than I'm doing. My flesh so desperately wants you to be wrong, but my heart knows that you are so right. My flesh pulls away from you, but my heart is screaming "love me anyway!".
It's so hard to pull out the white flag and surrender. It's so hard to admit, yet again, that I am wrong.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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2 comments:
It takes me awhile to process all the thoughts and emotions surrounding an issue before I am ready to move on. And it really does suck when you are the one that is wrong. Praying everything works out.
Un-mad, huh? Still walking through some unresolved issues with my...unresolved issue person.
Fix your eyes upon Jesus. That's all I can tell ya.
Peace,
Julie
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